Comments Disabled

Comments disabled due to some very harsh words from very harsh religious people. What happened to freedom of speech? What happened to love your neighbor?

I was hoping others would share their experiences – both good and bad.
If you had a great Kairos experience, then good for you! I am happy for you! I do not judge like you do.

Please think before you speak. Thank you.

What ACTUALY HAPPENED at Kairos – aka… the secrets post.

Okay, so like I said before, it’s been pretty close to 6 years since I went on my Kairos retreat, so I’m going to tell you what I remember, but not everything. Hopefully some readers who are okay with telling their story, will comment and leave more information on what happened with them. I am sure I left things out and I am sure that other schools did things differently!

THE ADULT COORDINATORS

Teachers, Priests, Parents, and Faculty Members make up the coordinators. They are the adult leaders and figures that most of the students should be familiar with in one way or another.

THE STUDENT LEADERS

These are students who had attended a previous Kairos and are made leaders. They are paired with an adult leader and put in charge of a group.

THE GROUPS

You are sorted out into groups of about 10 people max. The student leaders and past Kairos members do a little research to make sure that no close friends are put into a group with you. Acquaintances at most. I was in a group with people I had hardly known.

DAILY ACTIVITIES

Your group meets throughout the 4 day retreat to talk about a variety of subjects. You are allowed to speak your mind completely and without judgement. A lot of people tell personal stories, including the adult coordinators and the student leaders. These stories are usually God-related in some way or another. If I remember correctly, my Kairos group tried not to be TOO constantly God-centered, since some of the students weren’t actually Catholic, but there were many activities that had you question/grow your relationship with God. Any activities that involved you personally talking about your life/feelings/experiences were done in the smaller groups. There was a lot of crying among other groups, but I remember mine being pretty tame. There were tissue boxes on every table. I’m pretty sure one of the “secrets” were the personal stories of the other people/leaders in the retreat with you.

SECRETS

I know some of what I’ve already told you is part of the secrets… the biggest secret though, I remember being on the 2nd day. Where the other things, I don’t think were as important (and probably why I can hardly remember the point of them), the second day’s secret was the most well kept.

I almost perfectly remember the 2nd night’s event. Sometime during the afternoon, they told us to go into our room and to stay there until we were directed. They asked us to not fall asleep, and instead spend the time praying or meditating in silence. I spent the time listening to my mp3 player (which I wasn’t allowed to have). After about two hours, the sun had set, and they opened the doors up to the dark hallway. They asked us to bring a pillow and to line up single file. They brought us to a room that was almost completely dark, with the exception of a couple candles at the doorway and a couple candles in the front of the room. We were asked to lay on the floor with our heads on the pillows and our eyes closed. People began reading out letters, which were clearly written for a random person in the room. You didn’t know who’s letter was who’s until the end when the parent/aunt/uncle/sibling/guardian’s name was read. After all the letters were read, they brought you back into your room, where you found a brown paper parcel full of letters and little things given to you by your leader, the student leaders, friends, family, boyfriends/girlfriends, siblings, or whoever was important to you. They gave you the rest of the night to spend reading the letters. Out of all my days at Kairos, this made it the most worth it. I’ve lost a lot of the friends and family who wrote me those letters, so to have something that personal from them, makes all the difference.

LIVE THE FOURTH

I hardly remember what this is all about. If I am remembering correctly, there were four main points/days of Kairos? I believe these were directly connected to the secrets. You learn a secret each day/night. The forth day was a day of celebration, when all of the small groups got together and had a little party, played games outside, met the people from the other groups. It brought everything and everyone together. I’d love for someone to clear this up for me. I know there was more to it.

EDIT: User CC cleared this up for me in the comment. Thanks!

“live the fourth” (at least for my kairos) means to live out the promises you made to yourself while on the retreat. For example, if you promised not to judge your peers without getting to know them, you would “live the fourth” by not making judgements. It also means to stay in touch with your true self and live like you did on kairos (aka the simple and open lifestyle)

TL;DR

The point of Kairos is basically to help strip away all prior judgement from the people they are surrounded by on a daily basis. They put these students in a setting, where by the end of the retreat, they can feel comfortable enough to openly talk to the people they are with without being judged or looked down upon. It gives them the opportunity to talk about their problems (that may be extremely private matters) to people they hardly know and are made feel good about themselves in the process. The “secret” aspect does, in fact, need to be there in order to make certain activities work.

I didn’t get much out of my Kairos retreat, but many others did. I’m glad to have the letters, I just wish that these retreats were made more secular (yes, I know, it’s not possible since it was a CATHOLIC retreat to begin with…)

Please let me know your experience with Kairos in the comments! Let me know I missed any of the secrets as well!

Going to Kairos

There are a lot of rules on what you can and can’t do or bring while on your Kairos retreat. These are what I remember:

• You cannot smoke or drink the entire weekend. You ABSOLUTELY cannot be caught doing either of these.
• You cannot bring cellphones, laptops, mp3 players, alarm clocks, radios, and other small electronics. If you are caught using any of these, they WILL confiscate them for the rest of the weekend. (I snook my mp3 player though.) They do give your parents the number of the retreat house in case of emergency, but I remember the phone being in an area that people weren’t typically around during the weekend.
• Bring only a small amount of money with you – pretty much everything was provided for you, but I do remember them asking for donations.
• Bring only comfortable clothes like sweatpants, sweatshirts, sneakers, and t-shirts. Jeans, dresses, and button downs were prohibited.
• Girls were not allowed to bring make-up, blow dryers, or straighteners. (They basically wanted you to be “comfortable” and “yourself.”)
• You were allowed to bring musical instruments and there were actually several jam sessions during any break time that we had.

Other Details:

• Our retreat house was in the middle of no-where and next to some woods with trails, so during break time when it wasn’t raining, we were allowed to go out into the woods to wander and hike.
• Each person had their own room and bathroom. They woke you up around 6 or 7 am and you had to be back in your room by 9pm, I think? One night we snuck out after midnight to the snack room for a party, though.
• They asked each person to bring some sort of snack or baked good, and they kept all of it in a “snack room,” where you could go to get something to eat in between breakfast, lunch, and dinner – which was held in the cafeteria and served buffet style. (The food was probably the best part.)
• There was a LOT of prayer & meditation. There were also a few times when they would need time to set things up, and you would be confined to your room to “pray and meditate.” (I usually just listened to my mp3 player.)

Other than that, there was the actual program…

My Personal Experience with Kairos and Why I Made This Blog

I was enrolled in a Catholic High School where Kairos – a four day retreat which was kept a great secret among the coordinators and the students who attended – was a HUGE DEAL. By my senior year, I had decided that religion was just not my thing and if anything, it caused more problems than solved them. However, the students and teachers PUSHED for every senior to sign up and attend Kairos. It was optional, but I found myself forced to enroll… At that point, I was the head of our school’s volunteering organization, which just so happened to be in the same office as the Kairos coordinators. They wanted me to set a good example for the underclassmen who looked up to me.

Another great tactic that they had been using to lure people into signing up for the retreat (because frankly, everyone HATED retreats unless they got you out of classes for a few hours) was the whole “secrets” thing. There was a big secret that was revealed to you each night and on the fourth day – nothing else was really said about the rest of the weekend. NO ONE WHO DIDN’T GO TO KAIROS, KNEW WHAT KAIROS WAS ABOUT. Students would go to Kairos, have this “life changing weekend” and come back as a happier, and better person. Right. The students who didn’t attend, often felt left out and would even be teased about the fact that they would never know the Kairos Secrets.

I have created this blog because high school can be a very stressful place. You shouldn’t feel left out for not wanting to attend a religious retreat. You shouldn’t feel like a lesser person for not practicing a religion or the same religion. I will tell you what happens on Kairos so you can decide for yourself if you want to attend. I won’t be able to give you everything, but I will tell you what I remember.

I am going to give you answers, but I do ask this of you – do NOT ruin this for those who feel they need Kairos and do believe. Kairos CAN change a person. It can also be the best weekend of a student’s life, if they make it to be. Kairos is what you put into it. They tell you that from the first moment you are there. It’s true. It can actually be life changing for some, but it wasn’t for me.

I am 23 and currently attending a secular graduate school. I attended a Catholic High School for all 4 years and went on the Kairos retreat. Kairos was not the best thing that had ever happened to me, but it wasn’t necessarily a bad experience. It’s been about 6 years since I went on Kairos and there are still some of my high school friends who are stuck on that one weekend of their very long lives.